Stirlitz jokes

Von Stirlitz was a soviet spy, who worked in the German Army during World War II. Whether his history is authentical or not, his story delivered a great bunch of jokes.

There is also a Von Stirlitz Cyclus by the young russian artists MedHermeneutics, which was exposed at the Art Hamburg exhibition in 1994.

Here are some links to russian humour on the net:


I found the following joke on this server: http://mars.uthscsa.edu/Russia/Humor/

Shtirlitz went into Mueller`s office and found that no one was around. He walked up to the safe and pulled on the handle, only to find that it wouldn't open. After making sure that he was alone, he took out his gun and blasted away; still, the safe wouldn't open. Next, he put a hand grenade under the safe and removed the pin. After the smoke had cleared, Shtirlitz once again tried to open the safe. Again, however, he was unsuccessful. "Hmmm..." the experienced intelligence officer at last concluded, "must be locked."


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And now some jokes in german language from
http://www.public.iastate.edu/~dimebuck/russki.txt

  Anekdoten über Standartenführer SS von Stirlitz

Von Stirlitz ist ein sowjetischer Spion in Deutschland während des 2. Weltkrieges, aus dem sehr bekannten Film "17 Augenblicke des Frühlings"

Stirlitz saß in seinem Büro im Reichstag als der Rundfunk meldete "Von Stirlitz ist ein Arschloch!" Niemand verstand etwas, nur der Sowjetische Schnüffler ließ eine einsame Träne fallen. Da dies ein Codename war, verstand er, daß er soeben mit dem Titel des Helden der Sowjetunion ausgezeichnet worden war.

Stirlitz ging durch den Reichstag stockbesoffen und mit einem Luftloch. Heute, am 23. Februar, am Tag des Sowjetischen Armee, wollte er wie ein echter Sowjetischer Offizier aussehen.

The following anecdotes are in russian language, transcribed. I found them at Little Russia in San Antonio, TX:
Shtirlic zalozhil nogu za nogu. Na sledujushchuj den' Noga Zanog byl arestovan.

Shirlitz i Borman vyshli iz kabaka.
S: mojet, bab snimem?

B: net, pust' esche povisyat...
Shtirlic vsju noch topil pechku. Na utro pechka utonula.
Shtirlic voshol v cafe, gde sideli nemeckie oficery. On nachal razmaxivat'
sablej i krichat': Porublju, gady!!! Gady skinulis' po rublju.

Shirlitz letel s 5 etaja i chudom zacepilsya za balkon... na utro chudo
raspuhlo i bolelo...


Shtirlits shol po ulitsam Berlina. Za spinoy volochilsia parashiut, izo rta
torchal Belomor, skripeli kirzovyie armeyskie sapogi. "horosho
zamaskirovalsia!"- podumal Schtirlitz...

Shtirlitz hodil po lesu v poisah gribov no gribov ne bylo; "Ne sezon",-podumal
Schtirlitz i shlepnulsia v sugrob.


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